i wish i could be present
As I upload more backlog posts to this website, I realise something I've always found really hard is being present with written posts. It feels weirdly disingenuous to post old writing and pass it off as something new -- I always get the temptation to date it, and then I feel like I might as well actually just backdate it.
It's not the same with Instagram posts, I find it much easier to remix and combine old photos and poetry into something new. But when it comes to a blog post I feel like the only valid thing is to write something completely fresh. I'm not sure what the deal is.
I've never leant into a blog as deeply as I've done being an artist on Instagram. Probably because there's never been that felt sense of an audience present, compared to my Story, where I can see immediately a bunch of eyes looking at what I did.
Here, it feels more like calling into the void. I think I'll figure it out eventually.